Presumably because it’s so expensive to push Leonardo DiCaprio around in a rented gondola, this year’s Amazon Prime Day has brushed away its final lingering shreds of respect for the singular word “Day,” and in fact runs from this morning – July 8th – all the way to July 11th. At this current rate of expansion, it will therefore be just seven short years before the entire solar calendar is engulfed, with even hours being replaced as a unit of measurement by the duration of Lightning Deals. “Want to get an Amazon Fresh Refrigerated Beverage after our deals writing shift, Dave?” “Yeah sure, I clock off in three Lightning Deals’ time.”
My small act of civil resistance against this temporally disrespectful future is to uh, have unknowingly booked three of the four days off before Amazon announced the dates. But while I’m here, I’m still on cog-in-machine duty, which is why I’m now informing you that a couple of (actually good) Samsung NVMe SSDs are going cheap. They are. I’m sorry.